Life can be ironic…
Last week, a few hours after I wrote
about my recent loss the doctor called with the pathology report. I was able to receive this report since I decided to have a D&C this time around. I honestly didn’t even know it was an option until this miscarriage. It came back as Trisomy 16. You know when people try to make you feel better (and it doesn’t) and they say things like “it’s natures way”? Well after receiving the results I actually understand now. It’s natures way.
Although it doesn’t negate the ravages of this storm. It does give me closure in some way. There was a chromosomal abnormality and my body did not let the development of my baby go on. I’m thankful in a way. I find it incredible actually. I cannot imagine if the baby developed with Trisomy 16…and while further along we would have been faced with the reality of our baby having a heart defect, facial deformities, respiratory abnormalities, scoliosis and cognitive impairment. The pain now would not compare to then, when at 12+ weeks the doctors are asking if you want to keep the baby or terminate the pregnancy. Having to go through the pain of “deciding”. And then having to live with the decisions you made…either way. I don’t know. It really sucks. But now I know it wasn’t anything I did or could have done. And the likelihood of it happening again right after is very low. So to anyone out there going through this. I hope my journey helps you cope a bit. And understand it’s not your fault. I know your pain. It will be okay. PS I didn’t think I’d be posting this pic in this way, wishing it could have been a happy memory but if I can help just one person than it’s worth it.